In part 1 of The Art of Decisions-Making, I discussed how regret is a choice in an of itself. How regret lives in the consequences of our choices and how to approach regret when we experience it.
In part 2, I discussed how analysis paralysis is a fear of consequences.
This post is about the consequences we face and how we can choose our discomfort and feel as ok with the consequences that we are facing.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a therapeutic approach that helps people understand themselves, accept themselves and others and make commitments to themselves to improve their circumstances and relationship to their emotions. It is incredible to see the results - people living authentically, reducing their anxiety, and learning how to manage their anxiety/depression when they are "in it."
The theory behind the "commitment" part of ACT recognizes that one needs to understand themselves and what they value in order to commit to living in those values. This is NOT easy, but it makes life more fulfilling and easier as a by-product of that fulfillment.
Value-based decision making requires us to explore our values. To think about what is important to us or which things are more important than others to help drive our choices.
This means that when we make decisions that result in a consequence, we can accept that consequence without regret. This decision was intentional, and considered based on the information and resources that we have in that moment.
This means that even if the consequence sucks, we can see that as the suffering we were willing to face, and a decision that let us live with integrity.
When we learn our values, we can recognize what the perceived expectations are for us and what is truly our decision.
Remember: You face all the consequences of your decisions. If you make decisions that are expected of you - based on others' values - you are facing that too.